In this episode of Headspace for the Workplace, I am joined by my longtime colleague and friend Sarah Gaer to explore a concept that goes deeper than burnout: soul exhaustion. Sarah, co-author of the newly released Soul Exhaustion and Soul Care Workbook (with Cassie Kelly), brings both lived experience and decades of professional expertise to a conversation that is equal parts personal and practical.
The episode examines how modern work culture quietly depletes the deepest part of who we are - what Sarah describes as the essence, the spark, the fire within. When that inner flame dims, it doesn't just affect productivity. It affects identity, connection, meaning, and ultimately mental health.
Drawing on research interviews conducted in Copenhagen with suicidologists from around the world, Sarah reveals that soul exhaustion (when severe) closely mirrors the language used to describe suicidal despair. This episode moves the mental health conversation at work beyond surface-level wellness programs and into the territory of genuine, sustainable soul care.
Why This Matters in the Workplace
Organizations are facing an invisible crisis. On the surface, many employees look fine. They're showing up, meeting deadlines, attending meetings. But underneath, something deeper is eroding: the essence of who they are as people.
Soul Exhaustion ≠ Burnout
Burnout is about work demands exceeding capacity. Soul exhaustion is about losing connection to who you fundamentally are. Both can coexist, but soul exhaustion runs deeper and cannot be fixed by standard wellness programs, PTO, or productivity hacks.
The Mental Health Connection
Research gathered from suicidologists across cultures found that soul exhaustion — at its most severe — maps directly onto the language of suicidal despair. That means workplace practices that deplete the soul are not just HR problems; they are public health issues.
The Talent Retention Angle
Gen Z workers who entered the workforce during or after COVID, are far less willing to sacrifice their identity and well-being for their employer. Organizations that don't address soul-level depletion will struggle to attract and keep emerging talent.
The Productivity Argument
Boundaries and soul care are not productivity killers. They are productivity protectors. As Sarah notes in the episode: when you're exhausted and forcing yourself to keep going beyond your bandwidth, quality suffers. Protecting your soul is an investment in your output.
In this episode, we’ll answer:
What is soul exhaustion and how is it different from burnout?
How do you know if you have soul exhaustion?
Can workplace stress cause soul exhaustion?
Why is time your most valuable currency at work?
How to say no at work to protect your mental health
Two Tactical Takeaways from This Episode
Takeaway #1: Time Is Your Most Valuable Currency
Sarah invites listeners to do a simple but powerful exercise: list the top five things that matter most to you in life, then list the top five ways you actually spend your time, including doom scrolling and Netflix. The gap between those two lists is often striking, and it reveals how unconsciously we 'spend' the one resource we can never get back.
Key insights from this takeaway:
• Time is not infinite. Every hour spent without intention is a withdrawal from your soul.
• You don't have to achieve a perfect balance, but you do need to budget your time the way you budget your money.
• Technology has blurred the boundary between work time and personal time, creating an 'always on' expectation that silently depletes us.
• A free downloadable worksheet is available for listeners to complete this exercise (soulexhaustion.care).
• For workplaces seeking to attract and retain Gen Z talent: this generation came of age during COVID and is explicitly rejecting the 'work yourself to death' model. Time-as-currency framing resonates deeply with them.
Takeaway #2: Every Boundary You Set Is a Piece of Yourself You Take Back
Boundaries aren't just a self-care buzzword. They are the mechanism by which we reclaim our soul. Sarah shares her own personal practice of closing her home office door as a physical signal that she was off-duty, and how that small act protected her quality of work and her well-being simultaneously.
Key insights from this takeaway:
• The two takeaways are linked: once you recognize that time is your most valuable currency, setting boundaries becomes non-negotiable.
• Boundaries benefit not just the individual - they improve work quality. An exhausted person working past their bandwidth makes more mistakes and does lower-quality work.
• Common boundary breaches at work: answering emails at 6am and 10pm, responding to non-urgent messages during personal events, and returning early from parental leave.
• Setting boundaries is not selfish; it is sustainable. If your work is costing you your soul, it is not sustainable.
ABOUT SARAH GAER
Sarah Gaer is a seasoned mental health professional, author, and advocate with deep roots in lived experience and clinical practice. Motivated by the loss of close friends to suicide, she has dedicated her career to moving beyond pathology-focused approaches and toward a soul-centered model of well-being. Her groundbreaking research, including interviews with suicidologists from around the world conducted in Copenhagen, forms the basis of the Soul Exhaustion and Soul Care Workbook, co-authored with Cassie Kelly. Sarah is a longtime collaborator with Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas and a founding contributor to United Suicide Survivors International's community work.
Learn more: sarahgaer.com | soulexhaustion.care