There are many forms of love from Eros the passionate love to Philia, the love we have for our family. Another type of love — Agape — is also tied to our well-being. Agape is the universal love we feel for each other and our world. When we send this form of love through kindness, gratitude or other forms of altruism, it not only helps others, it helps us.Read More
Dr. Sally Speaks Blog
Sharing the stories, science and strategy of suicide prevention.
…Most men in our survey attributed to any differences in suicide grief between men and women to male socialization to be strong and self-reliant and at the same time, many wished that they had access to more supportive men-friendly resources during their bereavement. We know that family members who have lost someone to suicide have an increased risk of suicide themselves — partly because of the exposure effect, partly because the suffering is so great, and partly because of the yearning to be with their loved one. Thus, we owe it to the men who want different options for suicide grief support — perhaps peer-to-peer, one-on-one, or side-by-side — to find innovative ways to help men honor their losses and find ways to integrate the tragedy into their life’s story.Read More
…The course of a complicated bereavement, like the process that often follows suicide, usually does not follow the straightforward path outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross so many decades ago, but rather twists and turns and circles back on itself through mazes of denial, sadness, anger, shame, blame, and multiple physical reactions. Several authors have described an “oscillating process” in complicated bereavement – a moving back and forth between loss-orientation and restoration orientation, between growth and depreciation…Read More
The person most likely to save your life from suicide is someone you already know. Sometimes it may be a family member or a supervisor. Often its a peer.Read More
…Some employers do not want to hire Veterans for fear they might have PTSD or performance limiting conditions. This remarkable stigma exists and is actually a form of discrimination. The prejudice persists despite the fact that Service Members are expertly trained, and capable of remarkable problem-solving, teamwork and leadership.
Part of the difficulty Veterans face is that the civilian work culture is often far different than the one in which they thrived, and often the level of discipline and performance is below their expectations. Whether it’s the Marines, Navy, Army, Air Force or the Coast Guard, veterans count themselves as being part of something bigger than themselves. Assimilating to a new standard becomes all the more difficult when transitioning into a new field….Read More
…I have learned that “together we are better.”
This week, I am reminded of the many ways we need each other. Here are just a couple of ways this theme of interdependence is showing up in my life in just the last few days. These three lessons I’ve learned this week illuminate how our deep, reciprocal connections matter…
Today the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention's Workplace Task Force in partnership with United Suicide Survivors International and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention shared preliminary data from a national survey on workplace suicide prevention.Read More
…I don’t really have the chops to be a researcher or the patience to be a clinician, but I often find myself in new territories, listening to people share their insights about living through unimaginable suffering. Then I look to connect partners much smarter than I who can make a difference in alleviating that despair. So, as I am listening, I think to myself, “there are the stories I wish we would talk about more.”Read More
Today the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and United Suicide Survivors International announces the launch of a survey designed to assist with the development of the first set of guidelines for workplace suicide prevention in the U.S.
The purpose of the 5-minute survey is to give stakeholders an opportunity to provide their opinions for the guidelines — content, format, dissemination, implementation and evaluation.Read More
It seems fitting that on this day — July 4th — I should write a little something about kickstarting a revolution.
June was overwhelming for many in my suicide prevention tribe — the scientists, advocates, clinicians, crisis call-takers, peer supporters, and many people with all forms of lived experience with suicide — as many of us were called upon to respond to the seemingness constant barrage of tragic news about suicide and trauma.
Given that men in the middle years are dying by suicide at increasingly higher rates, I spend much of my time speaking and training in male-dominated industries like construction, transportation, veteran and first responder communities. The men I have met along the way have taught me much about resilience and honor…Read More
Today, Resilience at Work partners Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, Psy.D., and Judge (Ret.) Mary McClatchey are launching an online tool to help employers address the employee stress crisis…Read More
Let’s Face It, We Often Operate in a Bubble. Sometimes I think we aren't making enough progress in suicide prevention and mental health promotion because we spend too much time talking to ourselves....Read More
The National Fallen Firefighters Foundation announced today that it will be partnering with Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas...to explore gaps and strengths in firefighter suicide prevention. This comprehensive evaluation will help set the direction for a new national suicide prevention program.Read More
What if you ask someone if they are thinking about suicide, and they say, “yes”? What do you say?
1) Express gratitude
The first words out of your mouth: “thank you.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“Thank you for your courage to be vulnerable with me.”
“Thank you for valuing our relationship.”
Often when people express daunting thoughts about suicide they expect to be judged. They anticipate that others will react in negative ways such as fear, anger, minimizing, or shaming. When they hear a genuine expression of gratitude, often they are put at ease. This honoring response creates a safe space to move into next steps. Starting here is starting from a place of dignity and respect...Read More
This week I had to say goodbye to one of my confidants and greatest supporters, my 13 year-old Australian Cattle Dog Mutt, Apache. Today is Valentine’s Day, and this is my love letter to him and my gratitude for all he taught me about living a great life.
We rescued Apache from Denver’s largest animal shelter when he was nine months old in 2005. My kids were little; just 7, 4 and one year. We all gathered in the meet-and-greet room, and Apache was on his best behavior. We brought him home, and I immediately became his human....Read More
I’ve been looking forward to the Dad 2.0 Summit for months.
Not just because it was hosted in New Orleans at the beginning of Mardi Gras…
Not just because I got an opportunity to reconnect with some inspiring thought leaders who are there to support men in becoming the best fathers they can be…
Not just because my “krewe” was there to reveal some powerful stories of hope from our “Guts, Grit and the Grind” men’s mental health anthology…
But also because, the Dad 2.0 Summit exemplifies what it means to engage an army that successfully fights for a cause....
That moment when you are standing shoulder-to-shoulder with fellow suicide loss and attempt survivors on the Grammy’s stage at Madison Square Garden during the grand finale while nominees Logic, Khalid and Alessia Cara sing 1-800-273-8255…and you think – maybe, just maybe, our time has come…Read More
As we start a new year with new aspirations and intentions, dealing with a mental health or suicide crisis can be particularly challenging. Other seems so full of hope, while you—or a loved one—are struggling. For those with a strong faith background or spiritual sensibility, the difficulties can be compounded...Read More