Transforming Grief Into Meaning: How Stories and Art Support Children After Suicide with Ryan Abramowitz

Overview

What happens when a child loses someone to suicide — and the adults around them are silent because they don’t know what to say? In this episode, we explore that question through art, science, and story.

Australian author and illustrator Ryan Abramowitz joins Hope Illuminated to share how he transformed his own loss — the suicide of his father — into the award-winning picture book Elegy for an Elephant. Through watercolor, poetry, and animal allegory, Ryan helps children step into grief without being swallowed by it.

Along the way, we explore big questions families and caregivers often ask:

  • “How does suicide grief impact children differently than other deaths?”
    Research shows suicide-bereaved children are more likely to come from families already facing mental health and relationship instability. These children aren’t just grieving; they’re trying to make sense of why it happened, and often in silence (Cerel, 2020).

  • “Do kids really need to know the truth about suicide?”
    Yes — in developmentally appropriate ways. Children who are left in the dark tend to fill in the gaps with self-blame, shame, or magical thinking.

  • “Can art or storytelling really make a difference?”
    Studies show that meaning-making — finding a way to understand and express loss — is protective against prolonged grief and depression. Storytelling and drawing help children move feelings from the inside to the outside — where they can be seen, soothed, and shared.

  • “What makes suicide postvention for kids uniquely important?”
    One in ten children who lose a parent suddenly — especially to suicide — experience long-lasting, complicated grief that can continue for years if unaddressed.

Poetry, Metaphor, and the Language of Grief

“Art doesn’t erase pain - it reframes it as meaning. By carrying our stories, we offer others safe passage to be seen and supported.” Ryan Abramowitz

Ryan’s work shows us that young hearts need symbolism to hold what reality cannot yet name.
In Elegy for an Elephant, creatures of the wild carry grief in ways children can understand — quietly, symbolically, and safely.

Art, he says, becomes a compass:

“When we transform loss into language, we offer others a compass to navigate their own grief.”

About Ryan Abramowitz

Ryan Abramowitz is an award-winning author, illustrator, and storyteller. His debut picture book Elegy for an Elephant was created after the loss of his father to suicide. Through his studio, Narratives of Nature, he makes picture books, pottery, school workshops, and public talks that bridge art, grief, and hope.
Fun Fact: Ryan mixes seawater from sentimental coastlines into his watercolor paints.

References

Cerel, J., Fristad, M. A., Weller, E. B., & Weller, R. A. (2000). Suicide-bereaved children and adolescents: II. Parental and family functioning. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 39(4):437-44. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10761345/


Melhem NM, Porta G, Shamseddeen W, Walker Payne M, Brent DA. Grief in children and adolescents bereaved by sudden parental death. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2011 Sep;68(9):911-9. doi: 10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2011.101. Erratum in: JAMA Psychiatry. 2019 Dec 1;76(12):1319. doi: 10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2019.3451. PMID: 21893658; PMCID: PMC4017669. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21893658/

The Dougy Center. (2014). After a Suicide: A Workbook for Grieving Kids. Portland, OR. https://dougybookstore.org/products/after-a-suicide-death-an-activity-book-for-grieving-kids

Resources for Families & Helpers

For Children & Teens:

For Parents, Educators, Clinicians:

  • When Children Grieve – John W. James & Russell Friedman

  • National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) – Grief & trauma tools

  • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) – Children & suicide loss guides

  • Judi’s House Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM)