I’ve lost two people close to me to suicide. In both situations, I saw the signs. We talked about their thoughts of suicide. They got help. And in both cases, their pain and suffering became too much. While I think the survivor guilt is always there — the “if only” thoughts that linger — I have mostly come to peace with my role in trying to support them. Sometimes despite all of our best efforts and resources, we might still lose people to addiction, overdose and suicide.

We often hold mental health professionals to the unrealistic standard of saving everyone. We don’t have this expectation for our oncologists or cardiologists. We expect them to do the very best job they can based on the very best science and tools that exist. And, while deaths from heart disease and cancer are very tragic, we often give grace and even gratitude to our loved ones’ care providers in these areas.

In this episode, I speak with fellow psychologist, Dr. Dan Reidenberg about his experience losing a friend and board member to suicide. We lift up a call to action to the mental health community to expand the conversation on how suicide loss impacts those of us in the field of suicide prevention.