“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink,” John Wayne

From the Rat Pack to Animal House to Ernest Hemingway to John Wayne, many cultural icons of masculinity have glamorized the idea that booze puts hair on your chest.

The Tough Guy Culture and Addiction

Traditional American messages of masculinity teach boys to be lone wolves and to stuff down emotions. Feelings (except anger) then become taboo. This messaging creates a problem for boys and men who feel fear, grief, shame and more and don’t have role models on how to express these emotions openly. Instead, men often learn to take action when feeling these feelings by numbing emotions or distracting themselves with many forms of addictive behavior.

Traditional norms of masculinity also endorse ideals of self-control. Thus, despite high levels of substance use triggered by conflict, pain, and uncomfortable feelings, many men believe they can control their substance use well past the point of significant consequences in relationships, work and health. Because of this, they often wait until their use is causing catastrophic outcomes before they reach out to, or more typically accept others’ help.

Add to this dynamic the need for young people to experience “coming of age” rituals to make a shift from child to adult. For many young men and teens risky behavior around substances often fit the bill. Competition, fearlessness and invulnerability fuel increasingly dangerous pathways to addiction, especially for young adults who are genetically predisposed to have vulnerability to substance use disorders. In this podcast Rourke Weaver and I talk about how cultures of masculinity can fuel problems in addiction — and how they can also be leveraged powerfully when groups of men come together in recovery.